Showing up is sometimes scary.

We've been attending All Saints Episcopal Church since I was pregnant with Clara, but in the past few years we've really grown to know and love the congregation and staff, we've all made friends at church and have each learned something about ourselves by attending.

So, for six years I've been hearing about the Tuesday night dinners that are run by Ravenswood Community Services and housed in the parish hall. I've thought about going to volunteer, but I've either been pregnant, had a baby, toddler, preschooler or some activity that precluded me from going.

Tonight, Nora's ballet class was cancelled. I knew ahead of time, so I decided it was time that Nora and I show up to volunteer. Clara is too little to go unless it is family night, which is only once a month.

The tuesday night outreach is twofold, the pantry distributes groceries with produce and non-perishable items to individuals in need. Tonight there were roughly 350 individuals who showed up for bags of food. In the summertime, our school garden, totally unaffiliated with the church, donates produce for the bags (how is that for synergy). Normally, I think the food comes from the Chicago food depository and is purchased with funds raised for RCS.

In addition to the grocery bag distribution, there is a sit down dinner, a hot meal, including a salad, main course, and dessert, served to anyone in need. Tonight, there were probably close to 200 people there for the meal.

Nora was nervous and scared and told me so. I explained to her that there was nothing to be scared of, these were all people, just like us, only they are not as blessed as we are and they do not have a place to eat or money to buy their food, and we do. So, we were going to do whatever we could to help serve them.

We cut vegetables, bagged "no cook" bags, clearly intended for homeless people, broke large bags of produce into smaller bags, plated cookies, served casseroles, bread, salads, cleared dirty dishes, washed and dried dishes and most importantly, at the urging of Bonnie, the rector, acknowledged each person with a greeting and a smile and "happy thanksgiving" as we served their meal.

There were several children there around Nora's age. At least five times the main cook commented on Nora's politeness, which I believe overflowed due to her fear and discomfort being there. But, sometimes, showing up is scary and uncomfortable. That is sometimes the only path to growth. Honestly, I'm not sure that our presence made that much of a difference. The work would have been done by someone if we weren't there.

But, showing up on a Tuesday night was important to me. I want Nora to see her church making a difference. To see hundreds of people receiving goods and services and blessings that they so desperately need, right in the same sanctuary where she sings and prays and receives communion every week. There is no better manifestation of Christianity than what I witnessed tonight, just by showing up. It is one thing, and an important one, to write a check to help someone in need. It is quite another to put yourself in their midst and know that the person you just gave bread to will probably be sleeping on the ground tonight. Not because they are a drug addict or a bad person. Just because their life is so very different from yours. It is humbling and emotional and I am grateful to belong to a community that walks the walk. I pray I have the chance to show up more often to walk with them.


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